Happy Birthday, Adachi-san
by guillotineghosties
Summary: Much to Adachi's surprise, the Seta twins remember his birthday and give him a memorable celebration. PwPish, Setacest, Twins!Au, Accomplice!Twins


He'd only mentioned it to them once or twice in passing or over dinner at the Dojima residence, but they had been the ones to ask first.

"Adachi-san, when is your birthday?"

"February 1st, but it doesn't matter when you become an adult, because your birthday is like every other day, then."

The Seta twins had looked at each other with sympathetic eyes when he said that, and it was the kind of look that he expected them to give a starving, stray cat.  
They really were annoying brats, even if one of them was a cute high school girl with nice breasts, and even if she seemed to flirt with him every time he came over all the while her brother watched with that stoic but smug look of his.  
It was easier to forget that Souji was still just a teenager.

Adachi had wanted to tell them back then not to patronize him about birthdays and gifts and all that stupid shit he'd never gotten to experience, anyway, but he was either too drunk or didn't feel like bothering to lecture them and risk losing face as their uncle's harmless coworker.

But that short conversation had been months ago, before Nanako's being kidnapped, before Namatame's case had him working overtime, and before the Setas and their friends started moping around Inaba with their tails between their legs.

They'd caught the killer, hadn't they?  
And yet they acted like there was still a murderer on the loose. Well, that would have been dangerous, wouldn't it?

With all of their sulking over the past few weeks, Adachi figured that the twins would have forgotten all about his birthday, and he didn't especially want them to remember, anyway.  
Because then he'd be troubled to remember theirs, and he didn't enjoy unwanted favors left waiting to be repaid.  
He also didn't want to be reminded of how old he was getting, especially by someone nearly a decade younger than himself.

Besides, kids really made too big a deal about birthdays and Christmas and White Day and every other reason to "celebrate".

Being an adult, it wasn't like he'd gotten the day off just because he happened to have stumbled into this world exactly twenty eight years ago, and in fact he was pulling his second double in a week.

Adachi had a bitter taste in his mouth by the time he got home at nearly eleven that night, because by now he should have already had an exceptionally alluring wife waiting for him. A wife that would have made his favorites for dinner, kept the house clean, and let him fuck her however long and hard he wanted whenever he decided to grace her with his cock.

He deserved that much, didn't he?

But as it was, he was soaked from the cold winter rain thanks to some wannabe thug shoplifter fleeing on foot down the riverbank, and thus being forced to catch up on two weeks' worth of laundry before he could even lay down to get some rest. If he didn't, this soaking wet suit would probably mildew. Tomorrow would be the same processes and customs with the same asshole coworkers and the same menial "police" tasks that come with the middle of nowhere.

He jerked off his coat, undid his tie, and threw them with his shirt into the washing machine, not bothering to turn off the living room light as he made a beeline for the rickety old appliance. He stepped out of his pants next and tossed them in there, too, cursing now that he was down to his black boxers and he'd forgotten to turn the heat back on before he left to go back to the station during lunch earlier.

He hurriedly gathered some clothes lying about the bedroom, threw them into the washer, and poured a generous amount of unmeasured detergent on top of them before slamming the lid shut and pressing the only button he knew of that got the damned thing to wash.

With an agitated sigh, Adachi adjusted the thermostat and let himself fall into his unmade bed, cocooning himself in a thin layer of disheveled blankets. Catching a glance of himself in the mirror further confirmed what he already knew—he was a handsome guy who just had bad luck with women, because most women had degraded themselves to expensive fucktoys.  
Sure, he wasn't a supermodel, but he worked out a decent amount as required for his line of duty and his face wasn't hard to look at.

He closed his eyes as his body warmed up under the fleece over the course of the next few minutes, trying to not reflect on how shitty his day went, otherwise he'd never get to sleep and he'd be all the more exhausted tomorrow.  
Who tried to steal trading card packs, anyway?  
Brats who thrashed about when handcuffed and thrashed around in a puddle like a fish out of water.

The warm air drifting from the vents was heating the house now, and he felt his spiteful thoughts drifting apart to make way for either dreams or blank blackness.

Just as his body was relaxing and his breathing slowing, a familiar chime faintly rang through his head.  
Adachi turned over, mumbling, not wanting to be pulled out of what sleep he might be lucky to scavenge.

The doorbell rang again.

He groaned and managed to untangle himself from the comfort of the covers, unsure exactly who the hell would be at his door at this ungodly hour, but knowing that they'd better have a damned good reason for it.

Pulling himself out of bed, he trudged into the living and jerked the door open, carelessly forgetting about the weather, damp air and exposing himself to the elements.

Before him stood none other than the Seta twins, dressed in their coats and scarves, with Souji holding an umbrella over the two of them as the rain must have been thick when they decided to journey over here.  
His sister was holding something with both hands, wrapped up in a protective plastic bag from Junes.

Adachi simultaneously felt embarrassed, cold, and pissed off.

For a good three seconds, the twins merely looked at him as if they were some ghastly duo of unblinking poltergeists, looking over his body for a split second and then back to his face.

"What is it?" He couldn't completely blame their adolescent eyes for wandering to the bulge in his boxers.

She elbowed her brother, who took the bag from her and presented it to Adachi with that stoic look of his. "We just wanted to come wish you a happy birthday, Adachi-san. We baked you a cake and got you some of the sushi you like so much."

Adachi could only accept the bag with a dumbfounded expression, surprised that they had even remembered and more curious as to why they'd go out of their way to. "Oh, thanks…"

He couldn't bring himself to be as angry now. "So, is Dojima-san still at the hospital?"

"Yeah."

Adachi paused, not sure if this was exactly a good idea, but they'd been the ones coming to visit him. "You two wanna come in for a minute? At least to get dry. It's freezing out there."

"Sure."

He knew that he should throw something on, but the girl's face was reddened and her eyes focused on the floor when they stepped in.  
Souji smiled at him. "We know that you must be tired, so you don't have to put anything on if you're comfortable like that."

At least neither of them were appalled by the state of his house. It wasn't a complete mess and he wasn't a slob, but the tables could stand to be dusted and the carpet vacuumed.

Adachi laughed nervously, not even bothering to look at the cake and sushi with the mindset of saving it for lunch tomorrow. He occupied himself with putting it into the fridge. "It'd be strange to have two highschoolers over this time of night and not be dressed, don't you think?"

Before either of them could insist something like, "we don't want to be an inconvenience", Adachi escaped to his room and realized that all of his other clothes were still swirling about in suds.  
He decided to prowl through his closet, anyway, in some vain hope that there was some article that had been spared.

He had a hard on. That much he couldn't control, and tonight there was something about the way that Souji was smiling at him…

As much as Adachi enjoyed jerking off to Souji's sister, imagining his cock between those plump breasts of hers, there was something now about Souji himself that he'd failed to see before tonight.  
He was always so eager to please anyone that he took an interest in, to learn about them—he probably had girls all over him, and she had to have her own club of admirers.

Either could very well be sleeping with any member of the opposite sex that they set their eyes on, especially in this hellhole, and yet it seemed like they preferred the company of each other.

Adachi paused, finding only his raincoat (which would have come in handy tonight) and some old porno magazines, but a sudden realization hit him.

_They're fucking each other._

Those two were just jail time and a beating from Dojima waiting to happen, and they'd set their sights on _him_ of all people!  
That would explain why they'd go through so much trouble for him.  
They had school tomorrow, too, and they very well could have been creeping around his house until they saw the light in the living room windows.  
Just for a coworker of their uncle's, remembering a birthday and making a special trip in the freezing cold rain would be too much effort—not to mention all the times that either of them would bring him a pillow or a blanket when he'd be too inebriated to leave the Dojima residence.  
When he would leave for work the next day? Souji always had a lunch packed for him, too.

And now they wanted to ogle his body?

Those little sex fiends!

"Adachi-san," her soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. "Are you alright? Your laundry is almost finished. When the buzzer goes off, we'll put everything in the dryer, okay?"

Unable to resist confrontation now, and maybe frustrated with himself for taking so long to figure it out that the twins were lusting after him, Adachi swung the door open and gave them a dull look. "And just what do you two think you're doing?"

They glanced at each other, then looked at him earnestly, having already taken off their coats and gloves.

"What do you mean?" Souji asked innocently. "We just want to help you out. You look tense. I could give you a shoulder massage, if you'd like."

Adachi scoffed. "Don't play dumb with me. You know full well what I mean. Remembering my birthday and bringing me gifts like I'm your boyfriend or something. Is that what you want?"

Souji took a breath, shying away from his frowning at them. "At first, it was just my sister, but, Adachi-san, we both just really like you, that's all."

Maybe it was Adachi's imagination, but she looked like she was about to cry. Or she was just too embarrassed to say anything.

"Well…that's nice and all, and I think you're both great, but y'know, Dojima-san would skin me alive if he thought I was messing with you."

In complete unison, they piped up. "We won't tell anyone."

"We promise, really," She almost sounded like she was begging him now, and Adachi did like it when girls begged.

"We aren't people who talk about what goes on behind closed doors. You should know that."

Adachi gave them a sly smile. "And why is that?" He let his voice deepen, just enough to earn a startled look from those matching sets of grey eyes. "Don't tell me that you two play around with each, too."

Silence. Souji looked petrified.

"Anyway," Adachi sighed, any apprehension from earlier vanishing with this newfound power over two incestuous and vulnerable teenagers.  
He motioned towards his room. "If you two want to spend the night, you can. Just be out of here in the morning. I do have work."

This couldn't have been Souji's first time sucking cock—no fucking way—not with how he twirled his tongue around the head and made sure to keep his lips curled over his teeth. Adachi would have liked to have been the first male to conquer his mouth, but he couldn't exactly complain when the boy was so _good_ at it.

Presently, Adachi laid across his bed with Souji on his knees and between his legs and his sister straddling his waist, the two having ditched their uniforms and undergarments in a matter of minutes. They were so eager to be bare before him, to have him looking at their bodies and feeling them up.  
Their bodies were phenomenal, no doubt, and knowing that someone as strong and lean and handsome as Souji was at his command gave Adachi a much needed ego boost.

Her lips were soft, her breasts here smooth, and her pussy was smearing her scent onto his skin.

He kissed her with a strong hand latched into her hair, forcing his tongue into her open mouth and squeezing her right breast. She couldn't get enough of him, and every little whine when he pinched her nipple went to straight to his length and her brother took the movement graciously.

Adachi hadn't the slightest idea what he'd done to earn their affection or their lust (aside from his own natural charm, of course), but this was ecstasy. He had not one but both of them to do whatever he pleased with, and he practicality _owned_ them.

These were bodily sensations from another person that he hadn't felt in years, and they were enjoying this every bit as much.

Souji pulled away from his cock, slacking his jaw first and leaving a string of saliva connecting him to the thick organ before wiping it away with his wrist. "Adachi-san?"

"Yeah, what is it?" He was already nearly out of breath, body broken out into a sweat, too—enough for their skin to stick together if they were to be still long enough.  
Souji took the shaft in his hand and gently stroked him, watching precum bead through the slit. "You said that you have work tomorrow, so—"

"Don't remind me."

"How do you want to cum this time?"

_This time._

That's right, Adachi thought to himself, they were going to do this often now, as much as they could.  
They were _his_ now, after all, and for a moment he let himself picture the possibilities of their next time having sex together and everything that they could do.  
He could bend Souji over the living room table at Dojima's and fuck him until his ass bled, or have her suck him off next and then pull her face away at the right second so he could coat her pretty little face in his seed.

Or both of them could give him a blowjob next—yeah, that would be nice.  
And they'd hold hands and kiss each other with his cum in their mouths. Or maybe he'd cum in her and then watch Souji eat her out. Souji liked to please, after all, and he already proved that he was skillful with his tongue.

There was so much Adachi could see them doing for him, to please him and earn a pat on the head.

But for now, he glided a finger between her sensitive nether regions, feeling the slick, warm wetness seeping out of her. "I think I want to cum in your sister this time, Souji." It had been too long since he released himself into a warm and tight woman.

She squeaked, clamping both hands over her mouth with embarrassment.

Souji moved back, his own cock already in his hand by the time he sat against the bed board. He was going to get off watching his twin sister getting fucked by someone else, and his stomach coiled.

"But don't cum yet, Souji, don't worry, I'll take care of you next."

He shoved her onto her back in a single rough motion and pulled her legs apart, eyeing his prize triumphantly. She wasn't a virgin, thanks to Souji, but when he positioned himself against her and shoved himself in, she felt too good to care.

She cried a little, tears welling her half lidded eyes; he was thick and long and filled her up completely, and he felt different than Souji (not better or worse, just _different_). He wasn't gentle with her the way her brother often was, and he rolled his hips into her in hurried and manic thrusts, jabbing against the tip of her womb each time.

Yes, this was what he deserved all this time, he thought to himself, too taken in by the warm clenching around his cock and the sensation of his body rocking into her on its own.

It hurt her for him to be that deep, to be hitting her insides without any restraint, but there was something so carnal and untamed about it that her body gripped against him even tighter.

She was moaning before she could control herself, unrestrained little gasps, and when he shoved himself balls deep into her and filled her with the warmness of his fluids, she forced her eyes shut and came with him.

Adachi, done with her, turned to Souji next and as promise set out to let him have his own release.

He was already being overcome with post orgasm drowsiness, so he made quick work of the male sibling, grabbing his cock and pumping it in his fist until Souji spurted white all over himself, groaning in embarrassment.

Adachi liked the look on him—Souji, always so stoic and calm and perfect, covered in his own cum because he couldn't stop his own body.

He was smiling, though, and to Adachi's surprise he leaned forward just enough to give him a chaste kiss.

"Adachi-san, thank you."

His sister joined him next, hugging Adachi from behind, nuzzling her face between defined his shoulder blades. "Yeah, th-thanks, Adachi-san."

_Why are they thanking me?_

Still a little perplexed at how docile Souji was being, he grabbed the boy's arm and pulled him in for another kiss, this time open mouthed and sloppy with sleepiness.

When he finished, Adachi yawned and let himself fall onto his side. Souji stood up from the bed long enough to fetch a blanket that had fallen over the floor and cast it over him and his sister, then returned to his place on the right hand side.

Adachi closed his eyes, sighing tiredly, thinking about how exhausted he would be tomorrow, but that he'd at least have cake for lunch. "Well…goodnight. Don't forget to not let anyone see you leaving."

"Happy birthday, Adachi-san."

"Happy birthday, Adachi-san."


End file.
